(A word: Friends, this blog is about four times as long as my usual posts. Very much the exception to the Shortbread rule. But don’t think of it as a long blog… just think of it as a short book! I could have chopped it up into several blogs, but I thought it would be most valuable to you as a unit.)
All due respect, Jiminy Cricket, but wishing upon a star won’t—in the words of Larry the Cable Guy—“git ‘er done.”
If you have a piece of paper handy, draw a simple five-point star—a star representing your plan of action for 2014. It is a star that you will look at each day of the year to assure that you are staying on task in order to get to where you say you want to be by January 1, 2015.
It’s an old question: “Can a person change his or her stars?” In other words, can we, by changing our attitudes and actions, rewrite the way our life story will play out?… the way we will be remembered?
The answer: absolutely.
What I offer today is a simple tool to help you change your stars. It is an approach that can help you get a handle on that life goal or dream that has, eluded you to date. I particularly have a heart for those who have struggled to find their highest and best. Like Charlie Brown, your kite keeps getting stuck in the tree, or Lucy keeps snatching the ball away just as you’re about to kick it. I know those frustrations. But the tool is not solely for those on the edges of the dance floor. It is just as applicable for those in the middle and those near the top of the life-fulfillment ladder. It’s for anyone who has something they sincerely want to accomplish over the coming months, in any give area of their life.
Now, let’s be clear from the get-go: if you won’t work, it won’t work. If you are waiting on someone else to make your life happen, it won’t work. If you are a quitter, it won’t work. This is a tool–not a magic wand.
And now, for the star.
The first point—the top point of the star—is INSPIRATION. You’ve got to identify something you really want—or really want to be. A clear target. I believe that the best of our dreams and ideas come from somewhere beyond us. Call it your destiny. Call it the will of God for your life. What are your primal dreams? What do you want to be when you grow up? What are those underlying desires, beneath the surface wants?
A meaningful vocation… a comfortable home… loving relationships… an adequate retirement at a reasonable age. I want to write a book… or a song…. I want to get my weight down to ___ lbs. in the name of being healthy and living longer. I want a better relationship with my spouse.
What’s your INSPIRATION—i.e., your vision for you? There will likely be several items–physical, spiritual, career, family, etc.. Which ones are on top of your list for this year? Write them down! Cut out pictures from magazines that give you a visual of those dreams. Put them on the refrigerator door or on the bathroom mirror to keep them before you and remind you that this is where you are going. They are your INSPIRATION.
Move clockwise to the second point of this star. Tag it, EDUCATION. You begin reading around the subject of your dreams. You take notes. You memorize quotes and devour training CD’s and videos. You immerse yourself in the topic. You talk to people who know more about the subject than you do. It is one thing to have a dream, it is quite another to do your homework so that you can score well when the test rolls around. Jesus once said, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Vice-versa, where your heart is, there will your treasure be also. If you really want something, you will invest yourself in it—your time, your money, your energy.
How do I go about writing a book? How do I play a G chord on the guitar? What tools do I need to build a piece of furniture? How do I mix paints and work brushes to get the desired effect? The second point of this star-changing star is EDUCATION.
The third point of the star is MOTIVATION. You’ve gotten a spark or two, but how do you fan that spark into flame, and how will you fuel the fire over time? Great coaches are motivators. They have the gift of drawing out the best in their players. Where do we find the motivation to keep after our dreams? You might Google “motivational speakers”. Besides books or programs you might purchase, there is an ocean of free material. You stay motivated by surrounding yourself with like-minded, can-do, wanna-do individuals. To stay motivated, you will probably need to say a few holy good-byes to individuals or groups that drag you down and pull you in the opposite direction of where you need to go. Sadly, there are people out there who do not want you to succeed, and, consciously or unconsciously, they will try to undermine your progress. MOTIVATION is the third indispensable point on your star.
The fourth point of the star is PERSPIRATION. Folks, if it was easy to be great, everyone would be great. But the truth is, anything worth having will involve sacrifice and strain…blood, sweat and tears. It’s going to mean studying when you’d rather hang out with your friends or watch TV. It’s going to mean making yourself go to the gym even when your don’t feel like it or even when it’s nine degrees outside (like it is this morning.) PERSPIRATION—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual—means pushing yourself through to the next level, then pushing yourself to the next. Sometimes, it means saying no to those old habits that keep you in that downward spiral of failure and shame. Anyone knows—breaking old habits is hard work, but you can cultivate new habits and a new future with a little PERSPIRATION.
The fifth and final point on the star is DETERMINIATION. It is easy to be good for a day…to be committed for a week. But without unwavering resolve, dreams will evaporate over time and in the face of adversity. If you haven’t made up your mind ahead of time that you are going to stay the course, you are likely to run from the battle. “Where there’s a will,” as they say, “there is a way.” What determination does is galvanize the will. I know what I want—more, I know what I am meant to do and be—and I will get there…period! Now, it’s just a matter of working out the practical steps from A to B, and following through.
The word, “determination” has two parts: “terminate” which means “to end”, and the prefix, “de”, which means “back” or “away from”. To say that I am determined is to say there is no end to my resolve—that there is no going back. DETERMINATION seals the star-changing deal.
In the middle of the star, I would just write the word, REALIZATION. This is the pay-off for working the five points. This is moving into the new home. It is walking across the stage and receiving that diploma. It is stepping on the scales and seeing that you have reached your target weight. It’s yelling along with Dave Ramsey, on live talk radio, “I’M DEBT FREE!!!!!”
There will come a point where you will find yourself enjoying this process. The late, great, Zig Ziglar’s wisdom comes to mind: “You don’t pay the price of success—you pay the price of failure. You ENJOY the price of success.”
And you will. I’d love to hear your star stories.
Keith
1/6/2014
keithelder.com
Posted in
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Mid-Life / Second Half,
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dreams,
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