shortbread

short, sweet, and to-the-point — by Keith Elder

Archive for the tag “Love”

“The Toast–To Durwin and Carey Beth”

Version 3

I guess every father of the bride has his “Father of the Bride” (a.k.a., Steve Martin) moments when it comes to the big day—that surreal day when he gently, perhaps, reluctantly, places the hand of his beloved daughter into that of young man who is saying, in so many words, “I’ll take it from here, Pops.”

Ouch.

Maybe the day-of-wedding haze has something to do with all that has gone into the making of such a momentous occasion:

A thousand cross-country phone calls and texts and e-mails and Skype conversations. Prospective plans and adjusted plans and final plans. Dresses and rings and attendants and venues and invitations and logistics. All of these are dwarfed, of course, by that first meeting of “the one,” and the subsequent meeting of the family of “the one.”  (An aside—both meetings received an “A+”!)

Maybe, the father of the bride fog has more to do with getting acclimated to the idea that his baby girl, has grown up! We are talking major “rite of passage” here. She has finished college, found a real job on the Left Coast, found her way to a Pacific Ocean of friends, and most importantly, been introduced to this heart-and-soul mate whom she vows “…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer of for poor, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…”

An added piece of my personal “Father of the Bride” moment may have been the fact that I was also the Officiant—that is, the minister charged with saying the magic words. “Who presents this woman to be married to this man…?”  (Awkward silence…) “Oh!… I guess that would be her mother and I.”

The ceremony went forward relatively unscathed with the exception of me saying that I had been married to my mother for thirty-eight years, (Correction: I have been married to Carey Beth’s mother for 38 years). Then there was the moment when Dave, the Best Man, almost had to disrobe to find the rings (kidding, Dave!).

It was a joyful joining. The knot was tied. The kiss, the hug, the kiss again (in case the photographer missed the first one). The couple turns to face a sea of smiling faces. “It is my honor to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Durwin Tsay….” Standing ovation.

We recessed to take photos and visit with friends while the ceremony venue was transformed into a stunning reception/dinner venue.

Guests are seated. The wedding party is introduced. Applause. The salad is served. The Maid of Honor is introduced to make a toast. The entree is served. The Best Man is introduced for his toast. Music. The Father of the Groom is introduced and offers a beautiful, humorous word and toast.

Immediately, the band leader introduces the bride and groom for the lead-off dance… followed by the Bride/Father-of-the-Bride dance… followed by the Groom/Mother-of-the-Groom dance. Applause.  At this point, the band leader invites all to join the happy couple on the dance floor and we dance the night away.  Joyful!…a celebration–as well it should be!

My “Father of the Bride” moment?… I failed to make a toast. Arghhhh!

To be fair, they did announce the other toasts—but still, I should have stood and said, “Wait!… Stop the music! I have something to say!… (I mean, something MORE to say—I did get to perform the ceremony, after all—including a few personal words.)

But THE TOAST is different! The toast is where I would have said:

“First of all, thank you, thank you! Thanks to all of you—friends, family, co-workers, and kickball enthusiasts—many of whom crossed the continent or even oceans to be here and add your seal of approval to this holy moment.

On this auspicious occasion, Jean and I could not love Carey Beth more or be more pleased that she and Durwin have been brought together—we believe, providentially.

We love Durwin. He is an amazing, thoughtful, gentle-spirited, joy-filled, friendship-rich, family-faithful, man who loves our daughter with all his heart. What father and mother of the bride would not be thrilled.

We cannot help but say, “Thank you,” Yuhgeng and Margaret, for raising such an exceptional son. (Actually, you raised two, but tonight, we are particularly thankful for this one!) Thank you for pouring your love and wisdom into your first-born, and giving him an example that, I am sure, he will follow as he begins to build his own household.

We are so proud to welcome Durwin into our family. We do so with open arms and cannot wait to see the future unfold for “Tsay Family—The Next Generation!”

Now, would everyone please raise a glass, and join me in toasting–and giving thanks to God for this wonderful affirmation of love and family and life.

To Durwin and Carey Beth!”

Sincerely,

The Father of the Bride

 

p.s., You pronounce “Tsay”—“t-sigh”… or “t-say”…or “sigh”… or “Dur & CB” 🙂

Advertisements

“THE World Religion…and Football”

Image

I like that.

“BUDDHA was not a BUDDHIST.  JESUS was not a CHRISTIAN.  MUHAMMAD was not a MUSLIM.  THEY were TEACHERS who taught LOVE.  LOVE was their RELIGION.”

Now, I realize that some folks will be offended to have Jesus lumped in with other world religious leaders and simply referred to as a teacher.  The Easter event did set him apart as being out (of the tomb) of the ordinary. However, whoever made the observation made a good one.  LOVE was the common prize in all three Cracker Jack boxes.  Love was the light at the end of their tunnels. Love was their “bottom line.”

Honestly, I haven’t studied Buddha or Muhammad (by the way, spell-check has three acceptable spellings for “M___”), but even if they didn’t claim to be God, I’m sure they meant well .  They were just trying, along with Jesus and John Lennon, to get people to understand that “All We Need is Love.”

Jesus tried to reboot the system of his hyper-religious forbearers who had gotten tangled up in six hundred and thirteen Old Testament laws and centuries of religio-politics.  We do that too, don’t we?  I mean, get tangled in what version of the Bible is best, and how much of the church budget should go to missions, and what kind of music to play in worship. Jesus said, “A new commandment I give you: Love one another. …By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  (John—not to be confused with Lennon—13:34-ish)

A frustrated football coach walks into the locker room after yet another dismal performance, stands before his players and says, “Boys, I think it’s time we got back to the basics.” At this point, he holds up a brown leather oblong air-filled object with white stripes and seams. “This,” he says, “is a football.”  At which point, a big lineman, half-listening in the back of the room, raises his hand and says, “Hey, Coach, could you go a little slower?”

What’s your religion?  I’m thinking, “LOVE” would be a really good answer about now.

Keith

4-23-14

keithelder.com

“The Ultimate Occupational Therapy”

“Love one another.”

It was a commandment (the greatest according to Jesus), but it was also a sort of primal occupational therapy.  When a person is hurt or has a surgery that incapacitates them, occupational therapy gradually prepares then to resume their normal activities.  Love does that.

Example: You are depressed.  Then, love one another. Go out there and help alleviate the suffering of someone else.  Volunteer at the homeless shelter once a month.  Talk to the people.  Listen to their stories.  Go around to the tables refilling water or tea glasses.  You will feel better.

You are grief stricken.  Then love one another.  Reach out to family and friends who are hurting as well.  Call them. Drop by to see them. Share your stories.  Laugh with them, cry with them.  Grieving takes time—but love leads to a speedier recovery.

You are lonely. Then go to where people are—but go to places that will make you feel better and not worse.  It’s a club centered around one of your interests. It’s an art class or a book club or a church small group.  Once you get there, love one another.  Make it more about them and less about you.

You are angry.  After you have had a little time to cool down, get over it and love one another. Say a prayer for the person you are so frustrated with.  You may recall, Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”  Maybe you write a note to them saying, “Let’s get together and talk—life’s too short to spend it mad.”  Nothing sucks the heart out of a good day like unresolved anger.

Maybe you have shame or regrets.  Maybe you have let yourself or others down.  Then, love one another.  Baby step your way out of those dark places by very concrete acts of care and kindness.  Altruistic acts have been documented to give people an endorphin kick, not to mention the fact that it reminds us we may not be so bad after all.

It’s pretty amazing how we can love our way out of most holes.  And as for the one’s we can’t?…well, God loves us out of those.

–Keith   10-6-13

“Love ‘n Life”

Image

My new CD is out as of last week. Love ‘n Life.  Folk-ish like me.  Eleven songs.  Eleven takes on love and life… love in life… loving lives.

“Just Add Water” is a call to do love, to be love, to do-be-do-be-do love in a bazillion ways.  “It’s a drop, it’s a bucket, it’s a whelming flood… it’s all holy water in the heart of God.”  When we love, at least for the moment, God smiles and life’s good.

“Bridges” is a song about…well,… bridges.  Truth: it’s a God-thing to connect things—to heal, to restore, to bring things back together that have come apart.  Bridge-building, reconciling, peacemaking is a God thing.  “God so loved, he came to be the first of many bridges….” 

“I’m No Saint” is a true story song about a homeless man who faced a moral dilemma and chose to do the right thing.  Choosing to do the right thing, regardless of the consequences, is love.  It respects others and life and God and self.  Forget love in the abstract!  Do the right thing and love in the concrete.

“Long Time Old Friend” is about old friends and how they don’t just happen overnight.  “It takes years of good and bad days, hanging out and hanging in there….”  Still, if you are a thinking soul, there comes a day you realize, you didn’t make anything.  That long-time old friend is a gift from the oldest Friend of all.

“Better Late than Never’ is a tale of unfathomable love.  “Love Song” is my attempt to put into words a love you can’t quite put into words.  “Love, Love, Love” is a fun ditty celebrating the truth that “everybody wants to be in love.”  “Made for Promises” is a wedding song that resonates with souls who know.

There are a few other cuts, but you get the idea.

Do-be-do-be-do the Love.

Keith

p.s.,  To hear clips of Love ‘n Life, or read stories behind the songs, follow the links at www.keithelder.com.

Keith   9/16/13

Post Navigation

Little Fears

Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

Holy Soup

with Thom Schultz

Hey Preacher!

everything I forgot to say on Sunday

Mind's Seat

Set your mind on the things above

JUMP FOR JOY Photo Project

capturing the joy of the human spirit - in mid air - around the world

AIKIDO-NO-SEKAI

Non-violence. Talking Peace. Everything Aikido.

Tony Romano

Songwriter

Songwriting Pro

Helping songwriters turn pro.

4 Worn Passports

Inspiring Family Gap Years and Independent Global Travel